After writing thoughts on “pearls of encouragement” it seems appropriate to offer some thoughts on feedback. This word feedback often scares us, especially when it comes in the form of constructive criticism. However, there is a lot of growth that can occur from good feedback, especially when it takes us into new areas or allows us to address “blind spots.”
A good friend is not afraid to address those things that are holding us back and tell us about it frankly. The “not-so-good” friends are ones that watch us destroy ourselves or allow us to miss opportunities to grow.
Is there “bad” feedback? The answer is yes, but I urge you to proceed with caution. Just because we don’t like a comment or suggestion does not make it bad. Often the thing that hits us where we live is what we most need to hear. This is different from negative comments meant to tear down. Let me be clear, THAT IS NOT FEEDBACK! Negative or biting words often spring from jealousy or a manipulation. That is clearly a personal problem. Do not engage! That’s when those pearls come into play, especially if you’re dealing with a boss or loved one.
The wisdom in dealing with feedback comes from two main areas: analyzing the source, and the ability to differentiate what someone is telling us. My grandfather use to call it “eating the meat, and throwing out the bones.” More on this later.
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